http://welcometocrazygirlworld.tumblr.com/

Texting Tuesday: Breakfast of Champions

Tue, 05 Jun 2012 09:54:03 -0400

Pathetic: You should bring us breakfast in bed!
Him: Only if you bring me cookies.
Lonely: So, morning sex? That's what you meant by cookie right?
Him: Um, no I actually want a cookie.
Lonely: I'm disappointed in your choice of breakfast.

I Vow To Never Watch This Movie Again

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 17:25:48 -0400

Here are some thoughts on the movie The Vow…

There are some obvious problems with this movie, including but not limited to, an annoyingly frustrating bitch of a female protagonist, impossible to comprehend cuteness on the part of the man, and the fact that I cannot care about hipster love. I could have overlooked all of that if it weren’t for one missing scene. Where was the sex? If I am expected to sit through an entire Valentine’s Day instant classic then I expect a little action to make up for whatever dry spell I am experiencing. Seriously though! I have needs that should be met! Especially because the one bright side of losing all memory of your husband should be the excitement of fucking him for the first time and him being able to use his experience to get you off in ways you don’t know you want yet! That’s all I could think about while watching this movie and yet I was left unsatisfied like poor Channing Tatum. All build up, no release, worst fucking foreplay of my life.

-Lonely

Hey Remember That Time...

Sat, 02 Jun 2012 13:00:01 -0400

Your best friend picked you up from your drunken hook up the next morning? Oh wait that’s every weekend.

Pasty Ginger Dilemma

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 09:55:24 -0400

Lonely: Why do I find him so attractive? He's a pasty ginger!
Pathetic: Because you're into him.
Lonely: But he's not in me...

Today, I cleaned my guy friend’s hadn’t-been-cleaned-in-a-year bathroom. I hope that...

Thu, 31 May 2012 10:04:00 -0400

Today, I cleaned my guy friend’s hadn’t-been-cleaned-in-a-year bathroom. I hope that scrubbing his toilet will be the best way to win back my reputation as a not-so-crazy girl and to make him like me again.

I think it’s working!

-Sad

For me, Ms. Pathetic, this episode of Sex and the City is a...

Tue, 29 May 2012 22:51:27 -0400

For me, Ms. Pathetic, this episode of Sex and the City is a perfect example of our motivation behind starting this blog. We want to show everyone that crazy girls are not born, they are made.

To give some context, Carrie and Big were together for the second time when he casually told her that he might have to move to Paris for 7 months due to his work. Alright, so her brunch outburst was a bit over the top, but after the last 2 months of torture Douchelord has put me through I can sympathize with her situation.

There have now been countless nights where the three of us have spent all of our energy venting about boys or even going as far as scheming different ways in which to infuriate them. Sure these talks are temporarily therapeutic, but then I’m faced with the undeniable reality of the situation which is that for the fourteen times I read his text trying to interpret it he only glanced at mine once.

Oh look, he just responded!

-Pathetic

Still Waiting

Tue, 29 May 2012 19:05:35 -0400

Pathetic: You should go down on me.
Douchelord: Yeah...I thought about it, but not tonight.
Pathetic: What?
Douchelord: I mean, you really deserve it. I'll surprise you with it another time.
Pathetic: Dear lord, I can't believe you just said that.

In case you were wondering how explicit we're going to get on this blog, yeah, we're going there. Even if he won't.

Boyfriend or Best Friend?

Tue, 29 May 2012 14:45:55 -0400

This person, rather than give you some independence and travel the 40 minutes to your job interview alone, comes along for the ride. Rather than supporting you in this stressful time, finds the only bar in the town open at 3 p.m. and makes you pick them up when you are done and they are tipsy.

Q: Boyfriend or best friend?

A: Best friends, two of them.

I love this song, but it is completely unrealistic and drives me...

Mon, 28 May 2012 14:39:07 -0400

I love this song, but it is completely unrealistic and drives me crazy for two reasons.

1) There are no payphones anymore. Anywhere.

2) Boys do not fall in love.

This is just another example of pop culture raising the bar so high that the boys we meet can never reach it. Like me and the middle school high jump, it is just plain sad. Too bad this song is so damn catchy.

-Lonely

So Call Me Crazy

Mon, 28 May 2012 14:31:00 -0400

Alright, so let’s get something clear from the start. The three lovely ladies writing this blog are crazy. We are the greatest best friends in the world, but absolutely crazy. Straight up “Sex and the City” Carrie for Big crazy. Only worse (I mean better) dressers and occasionally less (sometimes more) pathetic. If you have ever been to Crazy Girl World, you can relate. If you haven’t then get the hell off this blog (but not actually, we desperately need your approval).

Eternally yours,

Sad, Pathetic, and Lonely