Here are some thoughts on the movie The Vow…
There are some obvious problems with this movie, including but not limited to, an annoyingly frustrating bitch of a female protagonist, impossible to comprehend cuteness on the part of the man, and the fact that I cannot care about hipster love. I could have overlooked all of that if it weren’t for one missing scene. Where was the sex? If I am expected to sit through an entire Valentine’s Day instant classic then I expect a little action to make up for whatever dry spell I am experiencing. Seriously though! I have needs that should be met! Especially because the one bright side of losing all memory of your husband should be the excitement of fucking him for the first time and him being able to use his experience to get you off in ways you don’t know you want yet! That’s all I could think about while watching this movie and yet I was left unsatisfied like poor Channing Tatum. All build up, no release, worst fucking foreplay of my life.
-Lonely
I love this song, but it is completely unrealistic and drives me crazy for two reasons.
1) There are no payphones anymore. Anywhere.
2) Boys do not fall in love.
This is just another example of pop culture raising the bar so high that the boys we meet can never reach it. Like me and the middle school high jump, it is just plain sad. Too bad this song is so damn catchy.
-Lonely
